Our lives changed a year ago Monday. We have learned a lot... here are a few of the things...
This past year has been the darkest and most difficult I have ever walked through, and we have ever walked through together.
My husband is quite possibly one of the most patient and sensitive men alive.
People grieve differently, and that's okay.
Sometimes when you are in the middle of your darkness, its hard to see that you need help- that's when you should listen to others and get help.
When you are grieving, your loss often gets pushed to the back of everyone elses' minds far more quickly than it does yours. Its part of being a human, we all do it, because life goes on, almost immediately.
There is no rush to move on to our next phase of life. I used to stress over a life timeline... God has that figured out. I don't have to.
Sometimes others can mean so well in their effort to give comfort, and end up doing just the opposite. Other times people can not even realize what deep refreshing comfort they give completely unintentionally.
When someone is grieving, it is better to say "I love you, I'm praying for you"... and then give a hug, than to say "I know how you feel"... and then give advice.
A year later I still miss my baby, and I think I probably always will.
There is a secret sorority of women who have experienced miscarriages, and when you have one, they come out of the woodwork and put their arms around you. They offer a kind of comfort that can come from no one else.
Miscarriage is so extremely common. That doesn't lessen the impact, and isn't helpful to tell someone that just went through it. But it does mean there is hope for us in the future.
God has far greater plans for us than we had ever hoped. In the past year we have seen some of those plans come about. We now have a cute little house which was a huge unexpected blessing. Jeff has his dream job and is full time at our Church. I am in grad school- something that has been a dream of mine, and I see completely as a privilege that I do not take for granted. By next August we will both be graduated, with Master's degrees. We have a loving supportive family. We have a wonderful church community that constantly loves and blesses us. We have an adorable pup. We have a sweet baby waiting for us in heaven. Our life is very rich right now. Its humbling to think about.
Posts
2 comments:
Thanks for your post. That secret society of women (and men!) have helped us as well through our past two miscarriages. It's nice to know you're normal, like everyone else. I know that God has a beautiful plan for your life...full of Mommy hugs! It's so hard to give up your "plan" for your life. I've been working on that one myself. I'll let you know if I ever conquer it! ;) Love you guys.
Your post is so sweet. I agree about the women who have been there, too. It helped me a lot to know that I could talk to my friends who have gone through them because they knew how my heart ached and how sad I was. They also knew the physical pain that no one else can know unless they have been there, too. I can't wait to see the bundle of joys that God will bless you with!
Post a Comment